Alright, folks, gather ’round, because today we’re diving into something truly… unique. We’re talking about the legend, the myth, the hot-dog-loving machine himself: Phil Kessel. And more specifically, I’m gonna try my best to consume hot dogs just as Kessel, and I tried to make it, just the way he maybe, potentially, might like it. Or not. Who knows? It’s Phil Kessel.
The Prep Work
First things first, I gotta get the supplies. I’m thinking, Phil’s a simple guy, right? He’s not going for gourmet. So I went with:
- Plain ol’ hot dogs: Nothing fancy, just the basic, all-beef kind. I figure Kessel isn’t messing around with turkey dogs or anything.
- Regular buns: No sesame seeds, no poppy seeds, just plain white bread. Gotta keep it classic.
- Ketchup & Mustard: Simple condiments, the classic. I am not sure if Kessel puts any others.
- Drinks: Pepsi? Coke? Just have it.
The Cooking Process
Okay, no grilling here. I’m 99% sure Phil’s not firing up a charcoal grill every time he wants a dog. So I boiled them. Simple, easy, gets the job done. I tossed those dogs in the boiling water and let ’em simmer for about, I dunno, 6-7 minutes? Until they were nice and plump. That’s it. Done!
The Assembly
This is where the magic (maybe?) happens. Bun, hot dog, and…I’m going classic. Ketchup. A simple line, nothing too crazy. I’m not trying to win any presentation awards here. And a nice, solid squirt of yellow mustard. Phil strikes me as a yellow mustard kind of guy.
The Taste Test
Okay, I’ll be honest. It’s a boiled hot dog. It tastes like… a boiled hot dog. Nothing groundbreaking. But, and this is a big BUT, I ate it while thinking about Phil Kessel, about his incredible hockey skills, about the rumors, the memes, the legend. And you know what? It tasted…better. Like, way better. It’s not that the hot dog is great, it’s the connection.
I ate three dogs, and I am very full.
The Final Verdict
Can I say I truly ate like Phil Kessel? Probably not. I can put what I assumed and did it.
But did I have fun trying? Absolutely. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the simplest things are the best, and that sometimes, you just gotta embrace the meme, and the hot dog. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll try this again sometime.
